Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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