Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i already hear my dad disowning me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
