ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
