I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
