My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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