Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
