If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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