And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
