First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
there is glitter all over my balls
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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