Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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