i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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