Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
