What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Houston, we have a blender
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
