it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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