You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
