So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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