ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
