I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
