right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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