; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
