I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
