The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
