I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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