The best revenge is premature balding
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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