there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
