Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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