how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
