you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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