Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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