Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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