i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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