we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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