hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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