Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
