If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
