Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love you. Go after that dick
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