you would pick up someone in the library
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
