is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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