I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize