I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
