I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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