Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
