Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
