we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
