Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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