I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
