Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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