These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
