he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
