he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
