so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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