Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
