i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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