Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
