Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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