i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
