Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
