The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
