So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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