I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Farmville is her only friend.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
