I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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