My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
