When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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